What is toxic masculinity, what are toxic masculinity behaviours, and what examples are often talked about in society today?
Generally, there is a conception that that a masculine man is supposedly muscular. The truth is, a man is expected to behave manly, but not to be intimidating with his masculinity.
Instead of showing toxic masculinity behaviours, experts believe in aspirational masculinity. Most of the young boys in this generation have only heard of toxic masculinity and it teaches that their identity is toxic.
Aspirational masculinity should be in the conversation to educate the young generation of boys that their identity is not toxic.
What is Masculinity?
Masculinity refers to the behaviours, roles, and attributes that society associate with boy or men. The term ‘masculinity is constructed and defined socially and politically, instead of being biologically driven.
What Is Toxic Masculinity
Toxic masculinity refers to the dominant form of masculinity that defines men’s superiority, dominance, and control of power. It’s a set of social guidelines stereotypically associated with being manly, which usually have a negative effect on men, women, and society.
Toxic masculinity is not designed to imply that the idea of masculinity is all bad. However, it tends to identify certain behaviours and misconceptions that are often associated with masculinity, such as sexism or homophobia.
The term ‘toxic masculinity’ appears in several forms. A typical example is telling young boys to “man up” in their moment of anger. Or justifying inappropriate behaviours by saying “Boys will be boys”.
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Toxic Masculinity Vs Femininity
Generally, toxic masculinity will reject femininity severally in any way.
Once a man supports femininity or behaves unmanly, he is cautioned to act manly. ‘Real men’ who don’t behave in that manner are naturally strong.
Men who behave that way are often humiliated, abused, or shamed by a society that wants them to behave manly.
Top Five Toxic Masculinity Behaviours
Here are a few toxic masculinity behaviours.
Being Stoic
This is one of the common examples of masculinity.
Generally, men are constantly told and accept the idea that need to be independent, self-reliant, physically and emotionally tough. Men are built differently from women and often accept the idea that the only way to become successful generally is to behave manly.
It’s not acceptable for men to be vulnerable as they will be ridiculed if they are.
Being Dominant
Although is in the nature of men to dominate, showing power and dominance can be unhealthy sometimes. It can result in intimidation either physically or online.
According to a study, over a quarter of men in a relationship think they should have the final word, while over a third of men believe they deserve to know where their female partner is at any given time.
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Being Promiscuous
Men will be applauded by other men for sexual conquests any time any day.
When it comes to the conscious understanding of male versus female promiscuity, men are applauded for their strength. They will be praised and called ‘studs’ while women with multiple partners will be called ‘sluts’.
Not Being Feminist Ally
Men who support or are allies of feminists will be humiliated, shamed, and abused by society.
A study shows that men who are involved in feminist activism become targets of harassment by other men.
Not Displaying Emotion
Being emotional is perceived as being a feminine character. It’s not expected that a man should be too emotionally attached to anything.
From an early age, boys are told not to be too emotional. Showing emotions is perceived as being weak and feminine.
Aspirational Masculinity
According to an article (Talking to Boys about being boys) published on CNN Health, former professional football player Don McPherson talked about ‘aspirational masculinity’.
Don McPherson realize he was missing something in the manner he spoke to boys. McPherson talked about the negative effect on a generation of boys who have only heard about the term ‘toxic masculinity’.
The boys will likely think that their identity is toxic and that masculinity has nothing positive to offer.
Aspirational masculinity involves engaging men in “a positive examination of their identity and the relationships and behaviours of and between men” Don McPherson says.
In McPherson’s words, “We need to stop asking only boys and men to provide space for others, rather we should ask men to make new spaces for themselves that aren’t confined to the narrow definitions of masculinity”.
Traditional Masculinity Examples
A man needs to act manly as society demands and here are typical traditional masculinity examples.
A Man Must Be a Fighter
Due to their nature, men are expected to be fighters, ready to engage in physical fights. Throughout history during times of war, men have always protected women and children from conflict.
During the medieval period, men were expected to fight to settle their differences. A man who chooses not to engage the other in a fist or sword fight is called a ‘coward’.
Men are expected to fight to earn their respect even if it means they have to die for it.
You Must Be Muscular
A real man is supposed to be very muscular and show strength. Being muscular means strength and it is what is expected of men.
It’s a general idea for men to be muscular as they are hunters and protectors of the tribe. Men who are more muscular will likely succeed in hunting and with their strength will defend their women.
Men must be willing to Make Sacrifices
The position of men in today’s society demands they make sacrifices. They are expected to be heroes defending their country, making sacrifices with their lives.
Because of this expectation of masculinity, there are more men serving in the military than women. Men generally do risky jobs that may cause their death.
You Must Not be a Gossiper
Men are expected to speak on important issues and not engage in trivialities. A man who talks too much or gossips a lot is seen as weak.
In the ancient Code of Hammurabi, hearsay is not condoned. It states that any man who brings forth an accusation and cannot prove it will be executed. Gossiping was a capital offence during ancient times.
Men Must Be Self-Reliant and Independent
The man is the head of the family, the breadwinner, and the provider. He is responsible for the family’s well-being and is expected to uphold that status.
However in today’s society, we have come to accept equity between men and women and there is a general idea that women can pursue careers in engineering, medicine, business, etc.
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Men Don’t Cry
Men are built differently and they are perceived to be logical whereas women are emotional.
From an early age, boys are told not to show any emotion and deal with physical or psychological pain. This is nothing but toxic masculinity.
Men should be able to let out their emotions when they feel so. Holding all that back inside may lead to mental health breakdown as men are not immune from this crisis.
You Must Be Honourable
A man is expected to be honest with his words to earn respect. Society also expects men to be decisive and not reluctant.
Men are expected to possess leadership qualities, stay true to their words, and not be indecisive.
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Men Must Not Show Weakness
During conflicts, men are expected to get involved in the fight and not hide among women and children. A man must not show weakness in situations that require urgent action.
Men who often show their weakness are considered to be weaklings.
You must be Assertive and Firm
One of the examples of masculinity is being assertive as a man.
Being assertive defines the character of a leader. throughout history, cultures have taken men to leadership positions, neglecting whatever skills or intelligence a woman has to offer.
You Must Be Financially Well-off
A man is expected to be financially successful in today’s society. Their position in the family requires they provide resources to sustain their household.
Men cannot fulfil their responsibility as the breadwinner of the family if they are unemployed or have no source of income.
In today’s society, many women will not associate themselves with men who are unemployed and cannot get a job.
Conclusion
Toxic masculinity is unhealthy for young boys. Although men are naturally built differently, they can still show emotions sometimes. A Man has its natural responsibilities and he is expected by society to fulfil them.
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References
- Helpfulprofessor: 15 Masculinity Examples
- Aurorand: What are the top 10 Toxic Masculinity behaviors?
- Greenhillrecovery: What Is Toxic Masculinity?
- Webmd: What Is Toxic Masculinity?
- ScienceDirect: Masculinities and Femininities
- Online library.Wiley: Masculinity and Non-Traditional Occupations: Men’s Talk in Women’s Work
- Edition.CNN: Talking to boys about being a boy
- Link.Springer: Masculinity
